25 November 2010 § Leave a comment
thanksgiving blog is short because thanksgiving blog writer has to get up in 5 hours for post-thanksgiving work because americans are annoying and shop too much.
20 November 2010 § Leave a comment
i’m ignoring today’s prompt because my life has been enriched and i have to tell everyone i know about it. get ready for this mess because it’s going to enrich your life, too. you ready? okay. look at this:
red. velvet. chocolate. milk.
it’s called “holiday milk”, which sounds terribly euphemistic to me (and was part of the reason why i bought it), and yes, it’s milk so i had to take a lactaid before i cracked it open. but once i did…oh man. i do not like milk at all, but i loved this holiday milky goodness!
it doesn’t taste exactly like red velvet cake but that’s fine. it tastes super sweet and decidedly unlike regular milk. one serving recommendation on the side of the carton suggests steaming it (yes!) and serving with whipped cream. i hear other people like hot milk and whipped cream (i don’t) so try that if you dig it.
you can’t download any apps on it, it doesn’t have wifi OR 3G, and soorry canadians, it doesn’t come in a bag. but you can get it at target this weekend for $1.79 and i think dany heatley likes it.
27 August 2010 § Leave a comment
16 August 2010 § Leave a comment
People tend to stick to their own size group because it’s easier on the neck. Unless they are romantically involved, in which case the size difference is sexy. It means: I am willing to go the distance for you.
–miranda july, “the shared patio”
26 June 2010 § Leave a comment
“how can mexican food look that much like vomit and still make me hungry?” -B, 2008
“this looks like deep-fried shit, why do i love it so much?” -me, 2010
word to the cheesecake factory staff who kept me fed on the crazy iphone line. especially the guy who kept bringing me corn fritters.
you little motherfuckers.
22 June 2010 § 2 Comments
this is the first baby i’ve ever met in my adult life. i think the last time i held a baby was when my youngest cousin was born; i was 12. i’ve met my other cousin’s kids, two little half-italian ladykillers called lucas and nicholas, but never as babies. they were wearing real underpants by the time i met them.
little noah is my friend jesse’s baby. he was 18 days old when i met him. he doesn’t do much. as i held him, someone asked me “aren’t you just dying to have one?!”
babies don’t like good music, or alcohol, or trying new food (i bet babies don’t like oysters at all). they like milk a lot. i don’t. i also hate loud noises at home, yelling, and plastic toys look cheap and cluttery. so no, dear woman, i am not dying to have one.
the only time i EVER think kids are cute is when they are tiny little kids playing hockey. like the four-year-olds. oh man, i can’t explain it, but they kill me. little monsters on ice.